Time
by RiverCity
Summary: COMPLETE What would you do with time were it given to you as a gift? Would you use it to reach out for what you desired most in the world or would you allow fear to steal from you a destiny that was meant to be yours? Cameron and Alexis


  **_Time_**

Alexis stood outside the door and lifted her hand twice before finally deciding to act on an impulse that in one moment shocked her and with the passing of the next moment sent a bolt of panic and apprehension through her. She knocked hesitantly, twice... almost inaudibly. Not hearing an immediate answer she sighed in relief and turned to go, thanking her lucky stars that she didn't have to finish what she started... this time. Her wish to know why he kissed her could wait… indefinitely.   
  
"Alexis?"   
  
She froze as his voice suddenly swept over her, causing chills to run down her arms. And then the unexpected heat his voice launched deep inside her began to fill the recesses of her heart, regardless of whether she wanted it or not. Raising her arms nervously she wrapped them around herself in a futile attempt to still her uncontrollable response to his voice afraid he would see the effect he had on her. As she turned to face him she silently begged her body not to give her away.   
  
"Uhm... Hi. I knocked... I thought you were out. It was nothing important... I can come back later if you're busy. You look busy. I'll just come back later."   
  
She turned to go, letting go of the painful grip she had on arms and stuffed her hands deep into the back pockets of a pair of well-worn jeans in an effort to appear nonchalant. Settling her clenched fists within the safety of their momentary hide-a-way she jumped as an intense fire ripped through her. Looking down quickly to find its source she stilled at the sight of his hand gently wrapped around her forearm. Staring at long lazy fingers that seemed to caress without moving, she was once again infused by the sound of his voice calling her name.   
  
"Alexis, wait."   
  
Dragging her eyes from the sight of his hand holding her, she lifted them slowly, reluctantly up to be captured by his. She gasped as she recognized for the first time in a long time that look... she knew that look... had seen it before in her own eyes. Only this time... this time there was so much more... She felt his hand tighten slightly around her arm as the intensity of his gaze strengthened.   
  
"Don't go. I know you feel it just as much as I do. Don't run, Alexis. Not from me."   
  
Run? The mere thought of such an idea was unthinkable. Alexis Davis, run? She ducked her head quickly hoping beyond hope that he didn't see just how remarkably accurate his remarks were. Yes, she wanted to run. Wanted to guard her heart. Needed desperately to avoid having her heart ripped apart again unmercifully.   
  
"Run? Running would denote fear, and I have no reason to be afraid of you, Cameron. You just look busy. I'll come back later when you're not."   
  
She winced slightly as she felt his other hand reach for her and settle around her other arm to turn her toward him. She felt him try to pull her closer, but her feet were glued to the floor. 'NO' her mind screamed relentlessly. 'Don't let him touch you. Just turn around and walk away. You don't need this. He will hurt you. He'll pretend to be your friend, pull you in and just when you begin to get comfortable in his world, he'll rip the rug right out from under you. RUN ALEXIS. RUN.' Her unmoving feet did not stop him from stepping closer, moving closer into her private space, her protected domain.   
  
"Cameron, stop. Let me go."   
  
"No. I won't let you go. I can't. To let you go means that I lose you. I'm tired of being alone. I don't want to be alone anymore. As much as I have wanted that very thing for so long, I find that because of you I never want to be alone again. But, I also do not want to be with anyone but you. You've become a part of every breath I take."   
  
He leaned down and brushed his lips lightly over her cheek then raised his head.   
  
"But, I won't push you either. I see what having me this close is doing to you. I feel it. I also know that you've been hurt... deeply. I don't want you to hurt anymore. I never want to see that look in your eyes when you think of me... of us. So I'm stepping back now Alexis, and I'm going to tell you all that I want and then leave the rest up to you… for the time being."   
  
She felt immediately chilled as he stepped away from her and unconsciously pulled her hands from her pockets and reached for him... for his warmth. Her eyes followed the movement of her hands and watched in fascination as she gripped the button of his coat with one hand and the matching buttonhole with her other. She stopped just shy of pulling him back into her. Fear wouldn't let go; its unrelenting grip unwilling to allow her the ability to choose.   
  
"Alexis, I want you in my life. I want time with you. Time to learn everything about you... everything that you are comfortable sharing with me. I want to know what it is that has caused you to be so guarded and untrusting. I know it is so much more that just what I have witnessed myself. I want to know what it is that puts such adoration and panic in your eyes when you look at little Kristina. It is so much more than just what has gone on in the past few months. And Alexis, I want you to know me... know all that there is to know so you won't look at me as someone to be afraid or guarded with. It will take time... I have the time. Are you willing to spend time with me, Alexis? Will you give us a chance to find out how far this thing between us can go? Please, think about it."   
  
Her body ached for him to move closer, to put his arms around her and just hold her. She knew about being alone just as he did. But, the space between them widened as he stepped back again, the movement pulling his coat from her tenuous grasp. And again '**_it_**' came to steal her breath from her. Alone. Such aloneness. Hands that needed to reach out, fell to her side. Eyes that longed to linger on his face dropped unwillingly to the tile beneath her feet. Words that longed to be heard, quietly swallowed to become lodged somewhere between her heart and his. Without looking up she felt the distance between them increase as he took another step away from her.   
  
"Cameron… wait… please..."


End file.
